Sheesh, what a time we’ve been having. I’ve been meaning to sit down and bring you all up to date with the latest news but I’ve been up and down like a yoyo and seem to have been rather busy as well.

So, where do we start…with Elton I suppose. After that weekend where S brought him to the show and then T letting me hang on to him for a few days after ringcraft I did wonder, but I daren’t hope….then they dropped a bombshell last Tuesday. We’d all gone to ringcraft, I’d taken all three puppies from my place, and as we got near the end of the evening Elton hadn’t been out of his crate, so I got him out to take him once…finished, went over to S&T and they offered him to me 😯

(Elton = Elton (obviously..) Pup = this other litter) I was awake most of that night wondering what the hell I’m thinking and can I afford it and is this really what I want (which I guess is what comes from being messed around for 6 months). Main concern being financial I guess – potentially going from one dog to three just like that, the other pup is going to be expensive, I’ve still got Solei’s vets bill to pay, it looks like Elton might well need a couple of baby teeth out so that’s another vets bill. Then there are vaccinations for pup, puppy classes for both and just stuff! I might well need a new crate for pup, I need every day collars and leads for both, I need (expensive) show leads for both, food bowls, probably grooming equipment for pup, obviously got to feed them(!)……and this all totally buggers up my Papillon for the foreseeable future and I’ve had such a fantastic time with Darwin I’m wondering why I want another black and white Phalene when I could have a nice flashy papillon I might actually do something with.

I guess it’s all a bit much….I’ve waited over two years for Elton (well not Elton exactly but this whole Solei/Fancy concept) and going on two years for this other pup and then I get a phone call saying there’s probably a puppy for me in this litter and just 10 days later S&T hit me with this….I mean, talk about timing! They keep me guessing for nearly 6 months and then they decide to drop it 10 days after I hear about the other litter – both of which – of course – coincide nicely with Solei’s vet bill!

After all I’ve been through with Solei I want this to be perfect…and I know nothing can ever be perfect but I see tiny traits in Elton that I don’t like and panic that it’s all gonna go wrong! Like he wasn’t as confident with traffic the other day (first time I’ve had him near traffic since he came back) and he’s dropping on the table which is a submissive thing that he wasn’t doing before either. I’ve worked through worse and I hope I can work through this satisfactorily, I’m just a bit concerned about what issues are behind him (which I don’t really know, I just know there are issues there)

I guess I also feel a little short changed….I know I’ve been over this scenario I don’t know how many times and I’m sure I can make it work, but given the small number of dogs I’m able to have it would’ve been nice to have been able to really enjoy each puppy and spread them out, as it is I potentially only have just over a month of Elton being “mine” before I bring home puppy #2, even though the age gap is bigger than that (a whole five and a half months 🙄 )

My head has been all over the place since Tuesday.  I’ve loved this pup from the moment he was born and I’ve wanted him since he was tiny…I’d have happily had him months ago if S&T had wanted to release him then, at which point some of the feelings I have now probably would have been there. I love the way he responds to me and when I showed him at the match last week he gave me a feeling that I’ve only ever had once…with Sarah. All the dogs I’ve shown (Solei included) and none have ever made me feel the way she did…until Elton. I guess the other raw bit is that I had two years of stress with Solei’s teeth…regardless of what I do Elton’s teeth should hopefully last until he’s at least 3 (hopefully a lot longer), but the idea of starting all this stress again when I only put the matter finally and completely to bed with Solei a couple of weeks ago is a bit…awful! I’m excited to have a pap/phalene of my own again 🙂 It’s not the same showing other peoples dogs. Darwin has been good because he’s been pretty much as good as mine, but even that’s almost come to an end now….and it’s been more than 6 months since I was showing Solei “properly”.

However, all that said I still have these niggling doubts. Before the litter was born I didn’t *want* another black & white Phalene – which figures – it was a litter of 5, he’s the only b/w and he’s the one I was drawn to! I’m scared of a repeat of Solei…which I don’t think will happen from an attitude point of view because I can’t imagine Solei was ever like this (of course I didn’t know him as a pup). As S&T are keeping one of the other two boys I’m scared of getting demoralized by being *constantly* beaten by whichever pup they keep. I’m scared of the commitment, I’m just scared full stop at the moment 😆 They were 6 months old yesterday, Elton & Lacey have their first show this Saturday.

I’ve never thought “I don’t want him”…my thoughts are more along the lines of “am I doing the right thing”. Elton is dog #2, Pup #2 will be Dog #3….that leaves me space for just one or two more dogs over the next 7+ years, unless I start rehoming, so I need to get it right…I’m still desperate for a Pap so that will definitely be one of the spaces, meaning Elton will probably be my last Phalene for 5 or 6 years.

Oh and with regard to pup #2 she lost one of the pups 🙁 So we’re down to 4 “possibilities” now.

I dunno; maybe I should just go and boil my head 😆