So…here we are. It’s been a long road, twisting and turning all the way. Taking two steps forward only to take three back again!

There are certain people I really don’t know how I would’ve managed without. They kept (and keep) me relatively (in?)sane 🙂 And of course I owe an awful lot to PKC and it’s members. Over the last five years they’ve always been there for me, providing whatever was needed! Whenever I had to step back for a while and lurk because I was too ill to do anything else I was always welcomed back as if I’d never been “gone”.

This is going to be an awfully sentimental post isn’t it…oh well, onwards! 😆

Of course sometimes I think “what if..” – it’s human nature. However whilst I wonder if a left turn there or a right turn here could have prevented all this, I know in reality it couldn’t. Whatever it is it’s an abnormality in my body that was waiting to strike, nothing I did or didn’t do could have stopped that! I got into the primary school I went to by the skin of my teeth – I was actually going to a different one because it was full, then someone moved away at the last minute and I was top of the list so got in. That’s how close it was!
For years I wondered if if I’d gone to the other school maybe I wouldn’t have picked up whatever it was that triggered everything off, though as it turns out that could be neither here nor there now.

I don’t know, I really don’t! I’ve been through so many different emotions recently (and I’ve been typing this over four days, btw). Instead of things getting better they stay the same in many ways but get worse as I seem to add more problems on top! I’m waiting to see what happens with AS Level results, last year the GCSE results made me quite upset but as AS are halfway through A-Levels I shouldn’t think they’ll have quite the same effect. Time will tell 😉

Anyway, as I was saying, the end of the road. Getting this far’s not been easy, I’ve often felt as if people don’t believe me and, even though they didn’t say as much, think I should just pull myself together. Because of course my idea of fun is to be like this for seven years! But there are a lot of things that I’m glad I’ve had the opportunity to do, that I wouldn’t otherwise have had. Sheesh this is turning into one of those awful BAFTA speeches that just drones on and on and on…..and on……and on……so to the point. I’m going up to Bristol Childrens Hospital on 12th September (first week of college – gotta love the timing!) for tests (everything under the sun I think! Including a muscle biopsy. Ick.) which should finally provide an answer. I hope.

I’m terrified they won’t find anything yet scared they will, well not so much scared they will as scared of what they could potentially find. I can’t settle to anything at the moment, more or less everything is on hold until after then.

So there you have it 😉